Jordan was my baby brother. He was seven years younger than me and so for the first few years of his life he was subject to my every whim. As a toddler he suffered weekends of me caking makeup onto his face and dressing him up in short, tight skirts and crop tops. My friend and I thought this was hilarious and took great delight in parading him in front of the cars passing outside our house. He was such an obliging little brother. When he was 6 or 7 he even used to go to the chemist and buy the products I was too embarrassed to buy for myself. Despite being the younger sibling, Jordan has always been very protective of me. Even just recently when my drink was spiked on New Year’s Eve, it was Jordan who battled crowds and public transport and carried me up three flights of stairs to get me home safe to his flat.
Making people happy, those that Jordan loved and cared about, was something Jordan was very passionate about. He was always making sure that Rachel would be happy here in Australia. He was already planning how to look after our mother so she would never end up in a nursing home. He was planning to look after our grandparents Opa and Oma so they would always be happy and comfortable in the same home they have lived in for the past so many years. The weekend before Jordan died I attended a concert that I really wanted to go to that I hadn’t been able to get tickets for. Of course Jordan managed to get me tickets and I went to the concert – that was very sweet of him. Jordan’s life was full of both large and small acts of kindness he performed for people.
Jordan was dearly loved by his niece and nephew, my kids Sienna and Tyler. When I told my daughter that Jordan had died she said “Does that mean you don’t have a brother any more Mummy?” and then “But you loved that funny boy!.” And…how I loved him. He was my best friend, the one I spoke to on the phone for hours on end about anything at all, who never judged me, who made me laugh, and who spent pretty much every Christmas with me even if we decided just to take off and have a small Christmas with just my family and him. And how I will miss him, miss him teasing me, winding me up, rolling his eyes at me whenever I said anything stupid, the sound of my kids laughing while he played with them and chased them round, his guitar playing, cooking with him, dancing like lunatics together at festivals, his plans and enthusiasm for life. Jordan never did things by halves; he was extreme in his generosity. I remember I got a phone call from him one day just before Sienna’s first birthday. He was so excited and said “I have found the BEST present for Sienna, she is going to LOVE it, it’s soo cool!” and he wouldn’t tell me what it was. It turned out to be the latest Tickle me Elmo which he had pre-ordered and which is still one of the kids favourite toys to this day. One Christmas day he offered to bring the entrée for Christmas lunch and I was thinking he would bring a few prawns but no, Jordan came in with 8 dozen oysters, a massive sashimi platter, smoked salmon and a few kilos of prawns!!
After his major surgeries in hospital he never once complained. He amazed hospital staff with his strong will to recover and recover quickly. He didn’t feel sorry for himself or ever let his will to live life dwindle at all. Instead he kept planning, and kept doing his uni work even in hospital. He was so positive and even kept trying to keep us, his family, happy and tried to limit our worry even though he was at his weakest. I remember one time, I went to visit him and I thought he was asleep so I took the furthest chair away from him so as not to disturb him and just watched him sleep. About ten minutes later without opening his eyes he said to me “Jacinta, why are you sitting so far away from me?” and I did a double take and said “what, I thought you were asleep, and how did you know it was me sitting there?” to which I got a big tease about what was the point of me coming to visit him if I was just going to sit in the furthest chair away and not talk to him, he was always making me laugh. He always had time for the kids, even when his body was very weak, he would make a huge effort to entertain and muck around with them and they loved him for that.
When Jordan told me that his cancer had returned I went to visit him and we spent the day at Coogee beach. I did my best not to act too worried but he must have sensed it. We were walking along the headland walk and he said to me “You know Jacinta, when someone dies, I’m never that sad” and I said “but how can that be, when you lose someone it is so very sad, I would be very upset” and he said “I’m not sad because they’ve had their life, and they’ve lived it, and if I were sad it would mean they didn’t live it well”. And I said “but if they’re young Jordan it’s not right, there’s so much more to do, there’s so much more life to live” and he said “but they’ve lived their life in the time they had, don’t be sad”. And that was Jordan, comforting me whilst dealing with his own trepidation and uncertainty about his second operation. I came over to comfort him and he ended up comforting me.
There’s no need to make Jordan out to be better than he was or exaggerate his good qualities because he had them in abundance. His generosity was unequalled, Jordan tried to right every wrong, make everyone laugh with his teasing, constantly improve himself. Jordan didn’t take much but he gave himself to everybody. He was special and unique and I feel so honoured to have been his sister for the short time he had on this earth. When people ask me how many brothers and sisters I have I will still say 2 sisters and 2 brothers, my brother passed away but I love him more with each passing day. If Jordan were here now I can imagine him shaking his head at me and narrowing his eyes annoyed at all the fuss. Now it’s our job to live our lives the way he wanted them for us.
in the name of Paul Fraser
expiration date: 2012-03-07
My (Jacinta's) Eulogy from Jordan's Funeral
Jacinta Fraser Mar 07, 2010
Making people happy, those that Jordan loved and cared about, was something Jordan was very passionate about. He was always making sure that Rachel would be happy here in Australia. He was already planning how to look after our mother so she would never end up in a nursing home. He was planning to look after our grandparents Opa and Oma so they would always be happy and comfortable in the same home they have lived in for the past so many years. The weekend before Jordan died I attended a concert that I really wanted to go to that I hadn’t been able to get tickets for. Of course Jordan managed to get me tickets and I went to the concert – that was very sweet of him. Jordan’s life was full of both large and small acts of kindness he performed for people.
Jordan was dearly loved by his niece and nephew, my kids Sienna and Tyler. When I told my daughter that Jordan had died she said “Does that mean you don’t have a brother any more Mummy?” and then “But you loved that funny boy!.” And…how I loved him. He was my best friend, the one I spoke to on the phone for hours on end about anything at all, who never judged me, who made me laugh, and who spent pretty much every Christmas with me even if we decided just to take off and have a small Christmas with just my family and him. And how I will miss him, miss him teasing me, winding me up, rolling his eyes at me whenever I said anything stupid, the sound of my kids laughing while he played with them and chased them round, his guitar playing, cooking with him, dancing like lunatics together at festivals, his plans and enthusiasm for life. Jordan never did things by halves; he was extreme in his generosity. I remember I got a phone call from him one day just before Sienna’s first birthday. He was so excited and said “I have found the BEST present for Sienna, she is going to LOVE it, it’s soo cool!” and he wouldn’t tell me what it was. It turned out to be the latest Tickle me Elmo which he had pre-ordered and which is still one of the kids favourite toys to this day. One Christmas day he offered to bring the entrée for Christmas lunch and I was thinking he would bring a few prawns but no, Jordan came in with 8 dozen oysters, a massive sashimi platter, smoked salmon and a few kilos of prawns!!
After his major surgeries in hospital he never once complained. He amazed hospital staff with his strong will to recover and recover quickly. He didn’t feel sorry for himself or ever let his will to live life dwindle at all. Instead he kept planning, and kept doing his uni work even in hospital. He was so positive and even kept trying to keep us, his family, happy and tried to limit our worry even though he was at his weakest. I remember one time, I went to visit him and I thought he was asleep so I took the furthest chair away from him so as not to disturb him and just watched him sleep. About ten minutes later without opening his eyes he said to me “Jacinta, why are you sitting so far away from me?” and I did a double take and said “what, I thought you were asleep, and how did you know it was me sitting there?” to which I got a big tease about what was the point of me coming to visit him if I was just going to sit in the furthest chair away and not talk to him, he was always making me laugh. He always had time for the kids, even when his body was very weak, he would make a huge effort to entertain and muck around with them and they loved him for that.
When Jordan told me that his cancer had returned I went to visit him and we spent the day at Coogee beach. I did my best not to act too worried but he must have sensed it. We were walking along the headland walk and he said to me “You know Jacinta, when someone dies, I’m never that sad” and I said “but how can that be, when you lose someone it is so very sad, I would be very upset” and he said “I’m not sad because they’ve had their life, and they’ve lived it, and if I were sad it would mean they didn’t live it well”. And I said “but if they’re young Jordan it’s not right, there’s so much more to do, there’s so much more life to live” and he said “but they’ve lived their life in the time they had, don’t be sad”. And that was Jordan, comforting me whilst dealing with his own trepidation and uncertainty about his second operation. I came over to comfort him and he ended up comforting me.
There’s no need to make Jordan out to be better than he was or exaggerate his good qualities because he had them in abundance. His generosity was unequalled, Jordan tried to right every wrong, make everyone laugh with his teasing, constantly improve himself. Jordan didn’t take much but he gave himself to everybody. He was special and unique and I feel so honoured to have been his sister for the short time he had on this earth. When people ask me how many brothers and sisters I have I will still say 2 sisters and 2 brothers, my brother passed away but I love him more with each passing day. If Jordan were here now I can imagine him shaking his head at me and narrowing his eyes annoyed at all the fuss. Now it’s our job to live our lives the way he wanted them for us.