Anyone who remembers by dear wife as Teofila was probably at Infants School with her, because even her mother decided early on that it was a bit of a mouthful. As the famous operatic soprano Toti del Monte was visiting Sydney at the time, her parents decided that Totti was a nice diminutive for their daughter and the name stuck with her throughout her whole lifetime.
Born in 1932 to Polish migrants Stanley and Adel Kaplun, she liked to boast that she was born in Paddington in the days when no-one admitted they came from Paddo, the home of the razor gangs and other Sydney characters of the time.
While she was enrolled in Paddington Primary School her mother didn't like the 'bad language' she was picking up there, and so Totti spent a year or two at St. Patricks Catholic School but later returned to Paddington Primary. A year at Woollahra Opportunity school followed, and then because her parents moved to Toongabbie she started her secondary education at Parramatta High, followed by Sydney Girls High when Ada and Stanley finally settled in Bondi.
Here she showed her true colours with a brilliant Leaving Certificate matriculation which included First Class Honours in English, History and Latin, and in fact she topped the State in History.
A well-deserved Scholarship enabled her to attend Sydney University, where she achieved both an Arts and a Law Degree. She always recognised that the State had given her the opportunity for tertiary education, and throughout her long and successful career she devoted much of her time to repaying that debt.
During her University days she met me, quite by accident as it happened, and it didn't take much imagination to realise that we were destined for each other.We married in 1956 and she started her legal career with a firm called Jenkins & Harmer where there happened to be a vacancy because Keith Harmer had gone overseas for a time. When he eventually returned there was no room for her and so she looked around for another firm who would be willing to take on a relatively inexperienced solicitor, and a female to boot. She didn't know where to start so I asked her which was the top firm in Sydney and she replied Minter Simpsons. I then said "Ring them", to which she replied "You just don't ring a firm like Minters and asked for a job over the phone", but I persisted, and as it happened they were desperate for a new solicitor and they offered her a job almost on the spot. As it turned out, she was the very first female solicitor this old and distinguished firm had ever employed.
After two very happy years there she moved on to an all-female practice. It was now 1960 and we hoped to start a family, but without much success, and then suddenly a close family friend and gynaecologist rang to say he had a little boy just begging to be adopted and to our great joy David became ours. No sooner had he settled in than Totti blithely announced "I'm pregnant", and so we gained two wonderful children just 8 months apart!
Although out of the workforce for a few years, Totti made sure she contributed to the community whenever she could. Following my mother's lead, she became involved in the National Council of Jewish Women and edited their Bulletin for some time. She helped as a driver for Meals on Wheels, and both of us served for a couple of years on the Jewish Board of Deputies.
Always a keen reader, she devoured books at an astonishing rate, be they erudite history texts or murder mysteries. She loved classical music, and we subscribed to the Sydney Symphony Orchestra concert series throughout our married life, reluctantly giving up our seats only when the Opera House authorities made it impossible to arrive and depart by taxis just 2 or 3 years ago.
With little prospect of returning to Law with two small boys to bring up, she decided a teaching career might better fit in with her new life-style, so she enrolled as an external Dip. Ed. student at the University of New England. She was making good headway until the time came for some practice teaching and she discovered this was only available north of Tamworth. Disaster, and the possibility of a teaching career sank without trace!
In mid-1963 boss, Frank Jenkins rang in a panic one day to say his partner had "shot through" taking $2,000.00 of clients' money from the Trust Account with him, and could she possibly come in for a few weeks until he sorted things out? So off she went to her old city office with 2-year old Adrian on her knee, He quickly endeared himself by, for example, stuffing the wrong key into the office safe which held all the current files and a locksmith had to be called in to save the day. Two weeks later Frank called in sick, and within a matter of days he unfortunately died, leaving Totti holding the fort on her own. With her customary skill and common sense she not only kept the practice going but actually bought it from Frank's widow by November of that same year and continued in her chosen career until ill-health finally led to her retire in June 2010.
But her real contribution to the community came not from Law but through her involvement with the public education system. Starting with the P&C of Coogee Public as soon as our 2 boys were enrolled there, she soon found a cause to which she could devote her skills and energy over the next two decades. Rising swiftly though the ranks at local, District and Regional level, within a few years she found herself President of the Federation of Parents & Citizens Associations of NSW, a position she held with great distinction from 1973 until 1980. During this time she was truly the visible face of parents in State schools and worked tirelessly in the cause of community involvement in every aspect of education. At the end of her term as President she became the first parent representative on the newly-established Education Commission and remained on that body until it was wound up 6 years later. Her contribution to the field of public education was recognised by being made an OBE in 1978 and a Member of the Order of Australia in 1987. On being asked how she came by these Honours she often quipped that it was easier for the Government to give her a Gong than to pay her for the time and effort she put into the many committees on which she served. My mother, the late Vera Cohen had been awarded an MBE and she used to say that not many mothers were out-ranked by their daughter-in-law!
A true measure of the respect in which Totti was held by "the establishment" was demonstrated in 1980. The Department of Education, in conjunction with the P&C Federation, hosted a Dinner in the new Masonic Centre in Goulburn Street ‘to celebrate the Centenary of the NSW Department of Education and to honour the retirement of Mrs. Totti Cohen, OBE, as President of the Federation of Parents and Citizens Associations of NSW’, to quote from the official invitation. It was a splendid occasion, held in the presence of His Excellency the Governor, Sir Roden Cutler, and attended by more than 300 people including many distinguished members of the Government, the Dept. of Education, teachers and eduction leaders, and of course representatives from P&C Associations from across the State.
In 1968 a strong community protest about the huge amounts of money being given by the government to private schools to the detriment of State schools led to the founding of the Defence of Government Schools organisation, known universally as DOGS. For the State elections of 1969 DOGS decided to field candidates across the State and Totti stood in the seat of Phillip, with no real expectations of defeating Bill Aston, the Speaker of the House, but purely as a protest against State Aid. The result of the voting in Phillip was fascinating, and it developed into a real cliff-hanger. Totti had scored 2.3% of the total vote, and beaten four other hopefuls. With nine candidates standing, the distribution of preferences was a nightmare, and when, after more than a week, it was finally confirmed that Aston had retained his seat by a bare 440 votes Totti boasted that it was her preferences that put the Speaker back on his seat.
As well as working in her own legal practice Totti served as a part-time member of the Social Security Appeals Tribunal for several years, followed by 18 years with the Consumer, Trading and Tenancy Tribunal. In addition, she chaired the NSW Privacy Committee from 1983 to 1993.
So what is Totti's legacy after 78 years? Firstly of course are our two wonderful sons, of whom we are both justifiably proud, and without whose support I don't know how I would have coped with the past few months. And that pride and love extends naturally to Liz and our beautiful grandchildren, Robert and Amy, and to Adrian's partner, Carolyn.
Then comes her legacy to public education. There will be thousands of parents who will not know the name Totti Cohen these days but nevertheless through her vision and leadership they now have a significant role in the State education system. Before her, most parents were seen merely as fund-raisers – they ran the tuckshop and organised lamington drives. Now they are real partners in education, and although the level of community involvement is not as high as she would have wanted, nevertheless they make real inputs at all levels of the education system. It is interesting to note that during her time with the P&C Federation Totti worked closely with no less than 9 Ministers for Education and 5 Directors-General of the Department of Education, and this legacy lives on even if not always recognised. She laid strong foundations in parent and school interaction which ultimately benefit all children in the State school system.
This is indeed a proud legacy.
In thanking all of you who have come here today to remember Totti I must pay a special tribute to our close friend and neighbour Janette Sayle, who decided a long time ago that she was Totti's personal chauffeur and drove her to countless medical appointments and hospital visits. Nothing was too much trouble for Janette and we appreciate her help beyond words. I must also pay a heartfelt tribute to both the nursing and the medical staff of the Intensive Care Unit at Prince of Wales Hospitality. Their concern was always for Totti's comfort and dignity throughout the weeks she was in their care, and we as a family truly appreciate their efforts.
Now I invite you all in your imagination to raise a glass of wine to your lips and drink a toast
in the name of Neville Cohen
expiration date: 2020-08-29
Neville's Eulogy
Adrian Cohen Sep 03, 2010
Anyone who remembers by dear wife as Teofila was probably at Infants School with her, because even her mother decided early on that it was a bit of a mouthful. As the famous operatic soprano Toti del Monte was visiting Sydney at the time, her parents decided that Totti was a nice diminutive for their daughter and the name stuck with her throughout her whole lifetime.
Born in 1932 to Polish migrants Stanley and Adel Kaplun, she liked to boast that she was born in Paddington in the days when no-one admitted they came from Paddo, the home of the razor gangs and other Sydney characters of the time.
While she was enrolled in Paddington Primary School her mother didn't like the 'bad language' she was picking up there, and so Totti spent a year or two at St. Patricks Catholic School but later returned to Paddington Primary. A year at Woollahra Opportunity school followed, and then because her parents moved to Toongabbie she started her secondary education at Parramatta High, followed by Sydney Girls High when Ada and Stanley finally settled in Bondi.
Here she showed her true colours with a brilliant Leaving Certificate matriculation which included First Class Honours in English, History and Latin, and in fact she topped the State in History.
A well-deserved Scholarship enabled her to attend Sydney University, where she achieved both an Arts and a Law Degree. She always recognised that the State had given her the opportunity for tertiary education, and throughout her long and successful career she devoted much of her time to repaying that debt.
During her University days she met me, quite by accident as it happened, and it didn't take much imagination to realise that we were destined for each other.We married in 1956 and she started her legal career with a firm called Jenkins & Harmer where there happened to be a vacancy because Keith Harmer had gone overseas for a time. When he eventually returned there was no room for her and so she looked around for another firm who would be willing to take on a relatively inexperienced solicitor, and a female to boot. She didn't know where to start so I asked her which was the top firm in Sydney and she replied Minter Simpsons. I then said "Ring them", to which she replied "You just don't ring a firm like Minters and asked for a job over the phone", but I persisted, and as it happened they were desperate for a new solicitor and they offered her a job almost on the spot. As it turned out, she was the very first female solicitor this old and distinguished firm had ever employed.
After two very happy years there she moved on to an all-female practice. It was now 1960 and we hoped to start a family, but without much success, and then suddenly a close family friend and gynaecologist rang to say he had a little boy just begging to be adopted and to our great joy David became ours. No sooner had he settled in than Totti blithely announced "I'm pregnant", and so we gained two wonderful children just 8 months apart!
Although out of the workforce for a few years, Totti made sure she contributed to the community whenever she could. Following my mother's lead, she became involved in the National Council of Jewish Women and edited their Bulletin for some time. She helped as a driver for Meals on Wheels, and both of us served for a couple of years on the Jewish Board of Deputies.
Always a keen reader, she devoured books at an astonishing rate, be they erudite history texts or murder mysteries. She loved classical music, and we subscribed to the Sydney Symphony Orchestra concert series throughout our married life, reluctantly giving up our seats only when the Opera House authorities made it impossible to arrive and depart by taxis just 2 or 3 years ago.
With little prospect of returning to Law with two small boys to bring up, she decided a teaching career might better fit in with her new life-style, so she enrolled as an external Dip. Ed. student at the University of New England. She was making good headway until the time came for some practice teaching and she discovered this was only available north of Tamworth. Disaster, and the possibility of a teaching career sank without trace!
In mid-1963 boss, Frank Jenkins rang in a panic one day to say his partner had "shot through" taking $2,000.00 of clients' money from the Trust Account with him, and could she possibly come in for a few weeks until he sorted things out? So off she went to her old city office with 2-year old Adrian on her knee, He quickly endeared himself by, for example, stuffing the wrong key into the office safe which held all the current files and a locksmith had to be called in to save the day. Two weeks later Frank called in sick, and within a matter of days he unfortunately died, leaving Totti holding the fort on her own. With her customary skill and common sense she not only kept the practice going but actually bought it from Frank's widow by November of that same year and continued in her chosen career until ill-health finally led to her retire in June 2010.
But her real contribution to the community came not from Law but through her involvement with the public education system. Starting with the P&C of Coogee Public as soon as our 2 boys were enrolled there, she soon found a cause to which she could devote her skills and energy over the next two decades. Rising swiftly though the ranks at local, District and Regional level, within a few years she found herself President of the Federation of Parents & Citizens Associations of NSW, a position she held with great distinction from 1973 until 1980. During this time she was truly the visible face of parents in State schools and worked tirelessly in the cause of community involvement in every aspect of education. At the end of her term as President she became the first parent representative on the newly-established Education Commission and remained on that body until it was wound up 6 years later. Her contribution to the field of public education was recognised by being made an OBE in 1978 and a Member of the Order of Australia in 1987. On being asked how she came by these Honours she often quipped that it was easier for the Government to give her a Gong than to pay her for the time and effort she put into the many committees on which she served. My mother, the late Vera Cohen had been awarded an MBE and she used to say that not many mothers were out-ranked by their daughter-in-law!
A true measure of the respect in which Totti was held by "the establishment" was demonstrated in 1980. The Department of Education, in conjunction with the P&C Federation, hosted a Dinner in the new Masonic Centre in Goulburn Street ‘to celebrate the Centenary of the NSW Department of Education and to honour the retirement of Mrs. Totti Cohen, OBE, as President of the Federation of Parents and Citizens Associations of NSW’, to quote from the official invitation. It was a splendid occasion, held in the presence of His Excellency the Governor, Sir Roden Cutler, and attended by more than 300 people including many distinguished members of the Government, the Dept. of Education, teachers and eduction leaders, and of course representatives from P&C Associations from across the State.
In 1968 a strong community protest about the huge amounts of money being given by the government to private schools to the detriment of State schools led to the founding of the Defence of Government Schools organisation, known universally as DOGS. For the State elections of 1969 DOGS decided to field candidates across the State and Totti stood in the seat of Phillip, with no real expectations of defeating Bill Aston, the Speaker of the House, but purely as a protest against State Aid. The result of the voting in Phillip was fascinating, and it developed into a real cliff-hanger. Totti had scored 2.3% of the total vote, and beaten four other hopefuls. With nine candidates standing, the distribution of preferences was a nightmare, and when, after more than a week, it was finally confirmed that Aston had retained his seat by a bare 440 votes Totti boasted that it was her preferences that put the Speaker back on his seat.
As well as working in her own legal practice Totti served as a part-time member of the Social Security Appeals Tribunal for several years, followed by 18 years with the Consumer, Trading and Tenancy Tribunal. In addition, she chaired the NSW Privacy Committee from 1983 to 1993.
So what is Totti's legacy after 78 years? Firstly of course are our two wonderful sons, of whom we are both justifiably proud, and without whose support I don't know how I would have coped with the past few months. And that pride and love extends naturally to Liz and our beautiful grandchildren, Robert and Amy, and to Adrian's partner, Carolyn.
Then comes her legacy to public education. There will be thousands of parents who will not know the name Totti Cohen these days but nevertheless through her vision and leadership they now have a significant role in the State education system. Before her, most parents were seen merely as fund-raisers – they ran the tuckshop and organised lamington drives. Now they are real partners in education, and although the level of community involvement is not as high as she would have wanted, nevertheless they make real inputs at all levels of the education system. It is interesting to note that during her time with the P&C Federation Totti worked closely with no less than 9 Ministers for Education and 5 Directors-General of the Department of Education, and this legacy lives on even if not always recognised. She laid strong foundations in parent and school interaction which ultimately benefit all children in the State school system.
This is indeed a proud legacy.
In thanking all of you who have come here today to remember Totti I must pay a special tribute to our close friend and neighbour Janette Sayle, who decided a long time ago that she was Totti's personal chauffeur and drove her to countless medical appointments and hospital visits. Nothing was too much trouble for Janette and we appreciate her help beyond words. I must also pay a heartfelt tribute to both the nursing and the medical staff of the Intensive Care Unit at Prince of Wales Hospitality. Their concern was always for Totti's comfort and dignity throughout the weeks she was in their care, and we as a family truly appreciate their efforts.
Now I invite you all in your imagination to raise a glass of wine to your lips and drink a toast
"To Totti, long may her memory live."