Mary Tooma Tribute Onlinetributes.com.au

Thank you for coming to Celebrate Mary’s Life, our Mum and Teta

The other night it was a beautiful evening. As I looked up into the sky, One star stood out it was bigger and brighter than the rest. It twinkled and sparkled louder than the others. I knew it was Venus but it was acting a lot like Mum.

How can I describe our mum and our grandmother; our Teta….

She was very generous at heart, she had built over the last few years a special relationship with her children and more so with her grandchildren who she loved very much. She was very proud of their achievements wether scholastic or otherwise. Each one of you is special to her

She had time for them. Only just recently Mary had one of her many cooking session, where all 8 grandchildren were gathered to learn how to cook correctly a number Middle Eastern dishes.

They all loved it and appreciated these sessions especially the eating part but most of all I know they have developed a great sense of family and belonging they laughed and giggled with their teta

Today our society in many ways has lost the ethos of what it is to be part of a community and foremost a family. She was the matriarch, she led by example and helped everyone around her understand and appreciate what it is to be part of a family this extended to our wives and their relatives

With that in mind I would like, that her legacy continue with the current young generation that is building the future of our family, community and society.

Mum knew what it was like to go through tough times, she had experienced it first hand when at the early age of 13 she had to leave school and go and seek work as an apprentice seamstress to help support her mother as her father Antoine Najjar had died at the young age of 40 leaving a young family to fend for themselves,

There was no welfare to fall back on in those days. If you were to survive it was through supporting your family they were hard times.  

They struggled for a few years until in 1949, when Mary got engaged to my father George and eventually married the love of her life a year after.

Over the next 10 years she was a very busy mum looking after 3 children of her own.

Things were not working out financially so my father decided to relocate the whole family to Libya.

That move was very hard on Mum, she was away from her beloved mother and siblings and very much alone in a strange country. In those days you did not have emails, mobiles, Facebook, Twitter, let alone cheap long distance telephone calls. Snail mail was the only way to correspond with relatives and friends.

As the years rolled by we were privileged to travel with our parents on holidays into Europe and across north Africa. By 1969 again we faced an uncertain time in Libya as Gadaffi came along and Dad decided it was time to emigrate to far away Australia in 1971.

Again Mum was moving much further away from her siblings and relations. She did however manage to keep us together as a family and instilled in us the sense of belonging.

For the next 20 years when mum and dad travelled on holidays they caught up with the relatives in Canada, USA, Switzerland, England and Egypt. especially her sisters Katy, Suzie and her brothers Elie and Said.

Those trips helped to heal her sadness at being so far away from her relatives as her sisters Katy and Suzie really looked up to her as their second mother, they loved her very much and they will miss her very dearly.

With these trips she came to realise what a beautiful country she had made her home in.

As her own children married and they themselves had children she felt she had made her mark. The grandchildren were her pride and joy and they in turn loved their Teta very much.

I had plenty of time when I lost my job to get to know Mum that was after dad pass away. It was a different relationship, not as a son more of a friend except for the occasional motherly advice.

We reminisced over our childhood, caught up on the family tree and what each of the relatives were like. To some extent it clarified our children’s personalities. She was a good friend to us

Mary was a strong and determined woman.  A woman on a mission When Mums had her first stroke a year after dad died, she automatically lost her driving license. She was young at heart and always wanted to be with the young ones it seemed to invigorate her. She even remarked one time when I visited her at the hospital a few years ago,

Why have they put in this ward with all these old people,” I replied

“Mum you are of the same age, “ she said no way they are a lot older”

Having lost the license that was a challenge for her. She was an independent woman living on her own and relied a lot on being able to drive. So she persevered and started to take driving lessons even my brother and I help her with quite a few lessons.  It took her 5 times to get her license back. I think the examiner finally relented after so many tries and saw her improvement and determination. That was mum to a T.

She believed in us as long as we tried our best. So grandchildren her message to you is believe in yourself. She taught by example and kept going no matter how much adversity she faced. This really exemplifies the Australian spirit.

As a grandmother she kept up with technology and trends. Only the week before she had the stroke she was communicating with her sisters overseas on skype, she googla as she used to say and was familiar with the latest trend of facebook and twitter and she even had a mobile phone but that was a different story, quite seldom she did not switch it on or charge it.

How is that for an 83 year old, someone that did not even have a transistor radio when she was a teenager?

Mum had a sense of joi de vivre her handicap never stopped her from having fun as seen in one of the picture dancing.

She loved dancing to quote Elizabeth . Kubler-Ross

"When I die I'm going to dance first in all the galaxies... I'm gonna play and dance and sing."

She sometimes laughed at life and really had crystallised what is important to us today. She used to make fun of some of the dieting ads on TV and I think she would have loved this

quote from Redd Fox

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”

And finally how do I remember our mother

She was kind, loving and fair

                 She believed in God and the resurrection

                 A motivator, a teacher

A kidder, a peacemaker and a devoted wife and above all a great sister, mother and grandmother

Thank you.